Study: Men Pretending to Read on Public Transit Just as Hot as Men Actually Reading
“As long as focus is on the book, pages are turning, and I can hear the Next Stop Announcement System (NSAS) - that man is irresistible”, says one participant
Montreal, QC - In a study by McGill University’s Department of Psychology, researchers found that men looking at the inside of books while commuting on public transit were objectively hot, regardless of evidence that literacy was being exercised. 73% of research participants in fact requested not to administer reading comprehension tests to the study subjects to generate evidence that the men were actually reading. Participants were cited saying, “why spoil the fantasy?”
“Talk about judging a book by its cover”
This rigorous study was conducted with participants that identify as heterosexual women, homosexual men, as well as queer, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual and androsexual people. During the design phase, individuals that identify as asexual were also recruited into the research but were found to develop sexual attraction to men over the course of the study after seeing them read on the light rail transit (LRT) system.
Upon completing the analysis of the surveys, some confounders were discovered that skewed the conclusions towards increased and decreased attraction extremes:
Men with good hygiene - Increased Attraction
Men with crotch-closed, cross-legged sitting stance - Increased Attraction
Men reading the Qur’an or Torah - Decreased Attraction
Men reading the Bible - Increased Attraction (assumed ironically)
Men reading while holding the book with one hand and thumb used to hold down book’s spine with a, minimum, 0.5 meter distance from eyes - Exponentially Increased Attraction
